I’ve always had a funny thing about it, since the first death I experienced was a character devised in my own mind? That when it struck my reality I had developed this detached way of dealing with it. Even though I was witness to my Papa’s passing of colon cancer in his later years, and was there that night.
It wasn’t until right after high school that we lost our friend Dayvo, and I lost my friend Rob.
Rob was his own victim to suicide and this deeply affected me because of the nature of our long distance relationship, and our childhood attachment. When I heard the news I can’t say I was surprised inside, but my mental self was crushed and lost. I doubted my experiences with him and for a time, wondered if I should have dedicated myself to a boy to save a life, and lost myself. Yet, I know inside this was not right. That it was not “my fault” again, distancing myself from the idea of death.
I have never been sensative to talking about death, although my life passion is really to prevent it. Especially towards those who are so talented, so skilled, so perfect for this world. I hope to shed light there in those dark times, to uplift and help people to see.
I’ve written in posts about what I learned about Unditional Love from Rob/Jack and that they are with me always. That their memory, their energy, their laughter, charm, character, it is within me and I am very much alive. Anyone else that thinks and loves and cares for these people are still attached and ‘within’ them. In this way, those we love are always with us. Whether dead, or alive.
It’s that preciousness of the care and love while we are Alive that means the most and create the space for true love and attachment to form.
At some point in the grief/loss process we should experience a “release” of the essense and attachement. And a comfort in their peaceful rest, and reach reassurance that their memory will remain forever within. If this isn’t met, or we overly attach to the last moments of someones life, this is where we can start to create some mental destruction. Something I had already learned something about blocking out when I was young, within my own mind already.
I’ve had to ‘go’ to some darker areas of myself, within science, and spirit to realize what it was that I’ve been ‘in the dark about’. Without clearing the confusion within, I wouldn’t really be able to see this clearly in life today.
All of this say that yesterday, I was asked what I would say to someone that’s suicidal. That you know can’t hear them, because they’re just off in their own world. Especially if you are suicidal, like – what can be done? What’s the protocol?
My first instinct knows that this is why our friendship is valuable, we’ve helped each other out of a state of Depression by the constant reminder of being Alive. That’s the keyword, the way out. Accepting that inner desire, those inner voices, and the delusion of self is another.
I have spent some time today doing some of that tougher research into suicide and pyschopathic tendancies.
What I found immediately interesting was something I’ve guessed all along (she says, a fan of Criminal Minds, Dexter, CSI, and NCIS):
“Our findings indicating that this region is denser in people higher on certain psychopathic traits suggests that these individuals may have a greater capacity for self-control,” said Emily Lasko, a doctoral student in theDepartment of Psychologyin VCU’sCollege of Humanities and Sciences, who led the study. “This is important because it is some of the first evidence pointing us to a biological mechanism that can potentially explain how some psychopathic people are able to be ‘successful’ whereas others aren’t.” – https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/09/190919114843.htm
I bring this up not because those who are suicidal are psychopaths, but because pychopaths have something to teach those with suicidal tendancies.
Fear of confronting the tensions and conflicts brought on by existential concerns—the “big questions” of life—is linked with poorer mental health, including higher levels of depression, anxiety and difficulty regulating emotions, according to a new study.
I heard today from an unfortunately uncreditable source, that those who suffer from alcholism struggle with the Alpha Brain Wave State, which is the state induced after focusing, working, or excersizing the body or brain. The state in which ‘bordom’ or ‘clouded’ or ‘confused’ feelings can be unbarable. In this state you have less control over your consciousness and your brain and body have run out of the cocktails that allow you control over your thoughts. In a state before resting sleep and eating.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4476599/ – In relation to alcholism to the brain functions, what the change is that makes for abstinance changes is this:
” abstinence is associated with changes in the tone of such networks, decreasing resting tone in appetitive drive networks, and increasing resting tone in inhibitory control networks to support continued abstinence. Identifying electroencephalographic (EEG) measures of resting tone in these networks initially identified using fMRI, and establishing in longitudinal studies that these abstinence-related changes in network tone are progressive would motivate treatment initiatives to facilitate these changes in network tone, thereby supporting successful ongoing abstinence.”
It can be assumed that the healthy state of Alpha is great for brainstorming, letting your brain dream about the day, the world, life. For being greateful, feeling accomplished, or light socialization. The wind down period. It is in this state we have the least amount of control of our creative mind, which is mostly unconscious.
From experience, I can say that depression leading to a phase of existential questions and pondering my life after having the baby whom I so desperately wanted to improve for. At first it was all for her, and for my husband. But it didn’t take long for me to realize that this was my life. The only person I had been running from, shutting out, ignoring and manipulating was me! That I was no longer the liar, the cheat, the theif. I had changed on the outside and my world could be changed. I could be different on the inside too?
And my self healing journey began when I forgave myself for my own neglect at all. The true work began, then.
I am not a suicidal person. If I had to choose one label to die with, I’d choose Psycho for sure.
I sometimes refer to my onslaughts of info I take in all the time from everywhere, [before I do the “what i think i know i don’t” removal of info waste dump]. Sometimes those thought streams, those nights, we call it “PsychoBabble”.
Most of the time it’s legitamate philosophy, or spot on intuitive clarity that later becomes a proven truth in our reality. Others I come realing back in “did I tell you the babble was babble?” lol. I’ve gotten good at discover in this way, and I think my partner investigator has gotten better at playing along and not being too harsh. It’s just not always his cup of tea or knowing. We know how men like to know and be right. I get it, it’s harder for them to admit.
Additionally, I’ve gotten better at fessing up too. “Ya, hi. I was wrong, this was rediculous by the way – here’s the Truth I found in the end.”
I own this about myself because it’s allowed me to get really good at research, and looking for credits and sources, ideas versus facts, that synchronize together in a way that “fits” and that compliments each other.
I think most of us have these Inner Voices, the PsychoBabble we think is useless. Untruth. Nothing of value. Stop, start, uncontroled, negative crap we choose to ignore.
Until we can’t anymore and it all comes tumbling down at once. The straw that broke the camels back.
The way you can help someone who is or has been suicidal is to treat them like they matter. Give hugs, send love. If your thinking about them randomly, tell him. They probably need to hear it. If you see them, stop and say hi. If you are requested to communicate or socialize, hopefully you can abide that maybe you too need to socialize!
Often these gestures are encouraging enough to feel Alive, Needed, Cared for.
In my expereince with suicidal friend, and depression/anxiety myself. Just like addiction, the ignorance of self discovery and asking yourself for answers to your own life questions.
We’re told not to cry, not to try, and not to be. And it’s simply not true. We alone have the answers to our problems within. We all have people placed in our lives that are there to hold information, love, and nurturing at exactly the right times and places. But were you paying attention? Did you let yourself receive that love and attention?
Allowing yourself to be loved. And allowing yourself to love others is ultimately the key to suicidal prevention.
Keeping this in mind, you can offer socialization, companionship, or to assist them in ‘getting help’.
Oh yea, and take time out to clear that gross clutter that doesnt make sense. The release for Anger is Laughter – so I suggest starting with something like this: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpeQmJA-WFDS20ReVqKlAdHOZfWxZBR1v | You can just be reborn with laughter and start from a slightly elevated place. lol.
And then actually get to some peaceful thoughts about what you need let go, so that you can start listening to the voices in your mind that are still there – crystal clear. Interact, love and respect your self.
Talk to yourself like your talking to your god – like you have nothing to hide from and it knows all
With that said, there is help every moment of every day.
The rates of sucess for the Suicide Hotline is astounding. The numbers before this existed was terrible. And although the number of deaths has spiked a few times, the rates have declined in the areas that Communities have Accepted Suicide Prevention as a part of their social integration in work, school, medical, and business buildings. As well as churches, rescue centers, homeless shelters, preventative housing, or departments of health.
If you see someone you know, or don’t know, struggling with their moments of life – call the hotline.
Do not take it upon yourself to save someone. And if you do, and you can’t save them. You have to know that everything happens as it is meant to. Not everyone is meant to be saved. Not everyone chooses to be saved.
Everyone eventually, will be. That’s just not up to you or me.
Take it seriously.
If your interested knowing how Communities are making the strides towards a better awareness of emotional and mental health to prevent this – please read this:
I have been writing this post for a while now and came accross some really enlightening info towards Alpha brain waves from MindValley, Bending Reality hour class. Much of what he talked about is written here:
The key take away from this was the proof that Forgiveness and Self Realization. And we now know this scientifically and have labs that are actually altering states of consciousness and healing trauma by amplifying and connecting the left and right hemispheres in altered states of consciousness. Changing our states of Alpha, and Delta.
In one case study here, there is a suicidal woman that changed her state of life by altering her brain’s conditioning. Allowing more feelings to come through here of Optimism and Joy.
I’ve been deeply pondering my own recent healing experiences of self realization, release from my own depression and state of denials – to replace them with feelings of forgiveness, gratitude. Those individuals who were there to provide me the grade, the honesty, and the guidance I needed – I will be forever greatful to. I only hope that what I’ve experienced and what I’ve transformed from will only serve to help and guide others, into their own state of healing and self realization. If it wasn’t for my love of science and spirit, I don’t know what ‘state of mind’ I would be in to provide any information in this post. I really do believe that there’s a serious connection to the forebrain, alpha states, and self realization – made possible by inner intuition, personal will power for change, and a desire to become whole and prosperous in this world that we share.